"I’m trapped inside of myself and I’m dead
Don’t wanna be lonely"
I feel numb. I feel as if there's nothing that I look forward to life anymore. I lost interest in most of the things I used to enjoy before. I rarely take good pictures of nature and myself now. I don't like my body and how I look now. I feel like I don't deserve to be loved by someone. I don't like socializing with people now because it is tiring and I feel like people don't appreciate me as much as I am trying hard to appreciate myself. Yes, I am thankful for everything in my life but then sometimes I feel like I just want somebody to save me from drowning in my own unresolved problems which I can't even detect it myself. But then I really don't like people reaching out to me just to talk about my problems because I really don't know what are my real problems. I really don't like when people keep on saying that you're not okay let me help you and I'll listen to you but then your actions show the opposite. Nowadays, I see the slight changes in me. I became quieter and don't really express my own sadness to my closest friends because I feel like I don't really need to share it with anyone. I know that in the end no one will truly understand what I'm going through and the solutions that they are going to give will never satisfy this anguish and angsty feelings of mine. Anyone who read this just don't ask me why and what happened cause I want people to just leave me alone for now.
Sincerely,
Lu
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