UNDERCOVER LULU

This is a continuation of the post from my Instagram.

Time really does not wait for anyone. We as human beings can only plan for our future but then we can't really do anything about it without the consent of God. This is going to be a post regarding on my journey throughout my life as a student.



Something to ponder...

The picture above was during my first convocation. Took Diploma in Public Administration and chose a very different path for my Bachelor Degree. Three years of Diploma and add-on another three years of studying for my Bachelor Degree. 

I was not a very good student back in high school. My result was meh. I scored ABCD and E for my SPM. There were 3E’s fyi 😂 and entering Diploma was the best decision for me ever. My SPM results consist of 2A's 2B's 1C 1D and 3E's. You tell me who would want a student that scores such shitty result? No famous university would accept that kind of results for their first choice. You know during that time the only thing on my mind was I want to further my studies in Swinburne(bloody expensive private university). Not to forget I was a rebellious teen who just wants to follow her peers around and go study in a private university without thinking about her parents. Yes I was dumb I know. But throughout the time of applying to every university that I can apply, I can see the struggle of my dad trying to get me into UiTM. He told me to take Public Administration and me being me ofcourse I wouldn't know what the hell was Public Administration. The only thing that I know about the Major was that I am going to get exposed to political talk and other stuff. 2012 was a really tough year for me but then I adapted myself to the Major sooner than I thought. 


So throughout Diploma, I learned to love the Major but during my fourth semester I questioned myself whether or not I love this Major. I wanted to quit halfway not because my result was bad but then I don't feel the challenge from it now that I've discovered the reason why. Thank God that I didn't quit *fuh* , A big shoutout to my partner in crime Hajar, who constantly reminded me to actually hold on to myself for one more semester. The reason why I wanted to quit was that I always compare myself to the people that are close to me. Throughout my university life, I tend to get close with the smartass people I don't even know why. It's not like I am using any of them it's just happened like that. As a normal being I do compare myself with Hajar but then I don't want to be like her. You get me right? I'm still that lazy arse human being who was reluctant to study for more than an hour. Yeap that was me during Diploma. I really took my Diploma for granted last time but Alhamdulillah I was given the most moderate CGPA ever which was 3.21 out of 4.00. I am grateful for that because I know how I was back then. *serves you right*


Well during Diploma I was still in my comfort zone but for Bachelor Degree was a different story. Went to a different State(Shah Alam, Selangor), new environment and the most horrific one was the Major itself. Bachelor Degree in English for Professional Communication. If you know me well, my usage of English is not as bombastic as my other friends but God decided to change my route to this. At first, I told my parents that I don't want to further my studies because I want to wait for the second intake to take the course that I really wanted. Funny story about this, I put the course as a filler for my Bachelor Degree application. I had to choose three different Majors for my intake last time. I wanted to actually be in Mass Communication Studies or even in Tourism but yeah as I mentioned just now God decided to give this Major. Yes, I was shocked to be given this Major three years ago. I was being the douchy self-stating this stupid and ridiculous statement to myself “Who wants to study English all the time? English is easy peasy.” Yeap I know I was douchy. Istg I really want to slap myself thinking about my behavior back then. ENGLISH WAS NEVER EASY. Really, I regretted everything. During my first semester, I really can't adapt with this Major. I wanted to quit really no kidding. I was overwhelmed by the amount of assignments given to us and how they actually assess us which was very different from my Diploma environment. Being in a different environment really makes me realize that I need to change my way of thinking and handle stuff. It's either you do or die. That's my motto during my Bachelor Degree. My first semester result wasn't that great. It was my first time to acquire such numbers. I know to some people I might sound and act so dramatically. I scored 2.75 out of 4.00. Getting a result like that was not really what I had in mind since my siblings are competitive. Due to that reason, I told my dad I really wanted to quit my Degree.

You know what happened after that? God still give me His signs which He sent my uncle to talk it out to me.(This happened because of the request from my dad). I continued my journey but then after that I've managed to be familiar and adapted myself through the rest of semesters. Conflicts among peers? You don't say.. It happened alot through these 3 years. But Alhamdulillah everything went well and I ended my Bachelor Degree well too. Now I am waiting for my second convocation which will be in this upcoming October. Yeay! Oh yeah my final CGPA was 3.24... Mediocre as per usual. Not much change from my Diploma but this CGPA I know I well deserved it because I really work my ass off. From 0 knowledge about English Linguistics to actually graduated from such Major indeed my major achievement in life. 

Graduated a bit latter than my other Diploma mates but it taught me the art of patience. Success doesn’t come in a fortnight I must say. Changing route especially to the one that you know you’re not really good at was really a gamble.  Long story short, it’s okay to be late. Your time to shine will definitely come sooner or later. Go outside of your comfort zone. You would never know what kind of adventure that you will face. And lastly, always ponder and remember God has His own ways of showing the right route for you.  Here some unicorn dandruff for you guys who read this long freaking post. “Sprinkle sprinkle unicorn dandruff!” 


Sincerely,
Zululu ✨🦄

Hello and good evening fellow readers! Sorry didn't manage to keep up with my schedule of posting things on my blog. I was procrastinating on trying to edit my video during my random outing with my mates. You know what, I have a soft spot in my heart about KL cause exploring around KL is far the best thing to do during my free time. I usually give myself a self reward after a hectic week in my life which is I would let myself explore KL alone or even with my partner in crime Syah.

KL is the best place for me to enjoy myself without even needing to shop or spend money on clothes. I spend money on food tbh but it's all worth my money I can assure you. To those especially my fellow Sarawakians who have never been to Semenanjung before you can read this post to guide yourself around KL. I bet it can be helpful to you. So if it's your first time in KL don't be afraid but rather go and search some random places that you can find your own serene. Well for me I like crowded places because I can find peace in them. I know it may sound absurd but that's how I roll. I have to say my trip to KL mainly because I just want to stroll around and window shopping not more or less.

Firstly, if you came all the way from Shah Alam, you can use the KTM at Padang Jawa because it is the nearest station before you're changing train from KTM to LRT. From there you have to buy ticket to KL Sentral. Wait I am too lazy for this but I can write simplify summary.

Padang Jawa (KTM) > KL Sentral (LRT) > KLCC

Okay moving on... For your information, I REALLY LOVE KLCC! You know why? Because of the free admission gallery! Actually my main objective going to KLCC for almost every month is due to the change that they always do for the gallery. So apparently it changes its theme every month so I have to keep updated every month to have my art appreciation time! That's basically how I spend my time around KL. Window shopping is no doubt is my main activity too whenever I''m in KL. Don't forget to drop by Avenue K and also Bukit Bintang cause you can see beautiful buildings around there especially Sephora's building and also Pavillion's interior. It feels like you're in another country. I look forward for new adventure because I'm going to start working at KLCC this coming 25th of July. I really look forward for my new adventure! I'll make sure to update on my first day of internship with you people!

Lotsa love, xx

Sincerely,
Lulu

Hi

So according to the title itself I would like to talk about finding yourself at this age. Tbh I am still lost in my own world. I don't know who am I, what would I want to be in the future and why am I even alive. I'm still trying to find myself who am I and what is my purpose of living. What exactly my goals in life.

I have goals no doubt about that but my goals are more towards serving other people well or be a good kid to my parents. Of course that will be everyone's goals right? I mean't my own goals. What I want in myself. It's hard when you are not selfish and when you  are trying to be one you will end up feeling bad about it. I do realized that I give a lot towards people around me rather be the taker. I know people often take me for granted despite of my existence whenever they need me well... I'm that friend who is always there when you need me in other words.

So this entire process of my life is for me to search my inner self which I should be proud of being myself. As a I grew older, I tend to hate everything about myself. From the way I look, my academic grades, my skills and my capabilities in living as a person. I don't have that special skills like other people you know. Everything I do is just on the average par. I am not amazed with myself cause yknow it's just my negative thoughts kicking in. I've been negative towards myself. I am 23 I'm supposed to care about other things which are more important. Who gets depression at this age? Yeap it's me. It's getting out of hands now due to the fact that I'm still searching for myself. I envy to those who are settling down with their lives. Settling down doesn't mean that they are married it's just settling down in terms where they already found themselves.

I just need help. But no one is here to help me and nobody can help me..